DJ Spiderhat Launches Anti-gang Campaign
Following the success of the Riverwalk’s very own rapper, Riv-MC, with his hit single “Going 210 on Yo’ Ass”, gang membership has soared in recent months in the areas immediately off-Riverwalk. In response, ex-Planet Hollywood Music Director and current Visitor Events Consultant at the Conventioneer Bureau, DJ Spiderhat, decided to put the Riverwalk back in da house. The new campaign “Find Your Way” combines getting teenagers out of the criminal gangs on the west side with helping lost tourists get around downtown.
86′ing the ’210′ with a few 187s.
The 210 Gang exploded in membership when one of its members figured out how to post a video on the popular cable show, YouTube. Every since Mayor Hamburger threatened to “pop a cap in da ass” of the 210 Gang, in an attempt to reach out to youngsters using their sort of street speak, city officials have been working on ways to live up to ‘main man and mad playa’ Mayor Hambizzle’s promise. After police shot and killed a range of people in the area on suspicion being involved in something, informants of Visit The Riverwalk have shown that membership levels have not been affected, especially since a Sam’s Club Card is the only requirement to join. Sam’s has incredibly cheap beer available in many locations.
One of the rituals for joining the gang, according to Dave Porterhouse of the SAPD, is for prospective members to drive around 1604 with headlights turned off. When oncoming motorists flash, the candidate must find the nearest turnaround, track down the car and flash them back. Police say this ritual has largely been ineffective due to the very low age of gang members, and resiliance on buses as their primary non-foot transport. In 2005, downtown gangs were completely eliminated when all bus stops were moved more than 3 blocks from the Riverwalk, apparently because gangmembers thought it was ‘too far’.
“Find Your Way”: threatening to break the cycle of violence.
In Spiderhat’s proposal, which started in trials last week, all suspected gang members will be driven to the Riverwalk by police, given complimentary giant taco suits and badges that read “Lost? Ask the Giant Taco.” It’s believed that gang members will learn that by helping visitors, most of which are only in town for 72 hours, it will ingrain a sense of community and trust that can only be provided by the Riverwalk. It’s also believed that visitors will also be drawn to ask questions of the Giant Taco Gangmembers, and thereby spend more time on the Riverwalk.
However, there are some early indications that the program is not working. The newly-created Giant Taco Gang is believed to be behind several robberies, where tourists were led to quiet off-Riverwalk location and threatened with pepper spray with extra chill. Furthermore, the Gang has used its new map-reading skills to bring other gangmembers onto the Riverwalk without the aid of public transport, and so far crime is up 2,000% in the last two weeks.
An emergency city meeting to discuss the issue is scheduled for next Wednesday at City Hall and the public is encouraged to attend: if you need directions to find the meeting, ask one of the Giant Tacos on the Riverwalk.
