Grand Theft Auto San Antonio released!
Grand Theft Auto, the record-breaking series of computer games that has literally pepper-sprayed the faces of The Sims, has finally come home for a long-overdue San Antonio edition. Inspired by a real-life incident in San Antonio’s West Side, game creator Chris Moonbat has gone from living with his parents to being the only person in Texas who can afford the $600,000 penthouse apartments atop the relatively new Hyatt Hotels.
Moonbat, 26, created much of the game’s action after an incident in 1996 in San Antonio’s hard West Side. After meeting a prostitute following a dispute over which gang he was working for – the Chinese-led Noodlemakers, the local 210 Gang or the Mexican group known as El Burro – he discovered that beating her to death with a baseball bat caused her to drop around $150 on the sidewalk.
Later, after accepting several cash-only jobs from stealing fire trucks and ambulances, Moonbat was able to amass several thousand dollars. But it was the prostitute action that was the seed of the idea. “There seemed to be no end to the number of hookers,” he recalls. “It was, like, you know reliable – and you’d beat these bitches two or three times, and every time they’d drop greenbacks like a rigged slot machine.”
Moonbat confesses that the idea wasn’t fully formed until he slipped away from the grips of uniformed SAPD. After being tailed by a helicopter for several hours following the theft of a police car and running over its two officers, he was able to shake his tail by turning into a nearby vehicle body shop. With only 5 minutes of cosmetic changes, the local police completely forgot about apprehending him – “it was like pig amnesia,” he describes enthusiastically, confirming that he “popped a cap in the ass” of the bodyshop owner since he was low on prostitute-produced cash.
San Antonio is proud to welcome him back, and Moonbat is releasing the 20th game in the series, entitled Grand Theft Auto: San Antonio. In researching the game for authenticity, Moonbat has incorporated many San Antonio features that locals will appreciate including:
- HEB-specific ‘Kill Frenzies’: players can earn extras points by finding an HEB and gunning down shoppers trying to renew their dog license or wire money.
- 410 Getaway: the game depicts roadworks in the 281-I10-410-1604 “shitpile”, which enable police officers to reach your vehicle more quickly on foot.
- Day laborers can be hired just next to the City’s Tax Office to help with drive-by shootings, gang bangs or extortion rackets.
The game’s designers confirmed that Riverboats are a new type of vehicle in the game, and there are secret so-called “Easter Egg” levels where extra points can be made by providing an accurate commentary while commandeering the boat during a mission. GTA SA is available now from all good Riverwalk locations.
