Police unveil new anti-drunk driving campaign.
SAPD unveiled a new $15 million campaign today, aimed at keeping people drinking and not driving. The new campaign, replacing the decade-long and award winning “Drive Yourself To Death” series of televisual commercials, is designed to confuse people sufficiently to think they’ve been drinking. “We’re not trying to stop folks drinking,” said Texas Alcoholics and Beverage Commission Comptroller Todd Midland, “especially since the taxes pay for our schools. But we want people to think twice before driving, and hopefully they’re decide to hang in there for another refreshing Miller Lite.”
SAPD Chief Roberto Hernandez agreed. “There’s nothing wrong with drinking but this driving problem is getting out of control. Too many cars, man, you know, it’s a problem with these kids.” When asked about attempts to get people on bicycles, he warned that they would get crushed by his F150. State-wide, Texas roads have never been more dangerous, which independent surveys have shown is because of Austin. Chief Hernandez added “Get smart or get dead, right?”
