Riverwalk Rides Recessionary Wave With Floating Office Space
The world famous San Antonio Riverwalk, with its unique collection of tourist attractions and businesses, has been the last place in the country to feel the current recession. While crime in Austin has soared and industry has closed around Dallas and Houston, the Riverwalk has continued to provide gainful employment for its diverse range of inhabitants.
Beating the recession is more than just a combination of excellent location, skilled labor, perfect weather and extended Happy Hours – it’s required dynamic thinking to keep visitors, tourists and conventions ‘wowed’ into coming back, despite not offering the gambling and escort services in rivaling centers such as Las Vegas.
Despite a confusing mixture of metaphors, the Riverwalk has been riding the recessionary wave by seeing which ideas hold water – and then making them float in a tsunami of liquid creativity.
Beating down the cost of office space
If you thought telecommuting was web 2.0, the Riverwalk has launched office technology into the next millennium.
With its year-round perfect weather, the Riverwalk has been the location of choice for the city’s many lawyers, law firms and legal companies. Harley, Hinckly & Hinckly, a personal injury firm based in downtown, was the first to put the idea to the test and signed up for the city’s trial ‘floating office’.
“Our office on Commerce Street was wasted money,” says one of the Hincklys, but we didn’t get the first name when we interviewed him. “We were paying for a roof, door, walls and lighting, none of which is needed in a floating office.” By stealing free wi-fi from the nearby Starbucks and ensuring his laptop is charged before work, his utility costs were halved to nothing.
The office docks at selected points along the Riverwalk, allowing Hinckley to meet clients at a moment’s notice when one trips or falls on one of the dangerously uneven sidewalks. “The only problem is the bathroom,” he confides. “I have to make sure nobody’s looking but it’s pretty convenient.”
He also warns that it takes practice to avoid pushing his chair too far back, and ended up falling backwards into the river on one occasion. “I was pissed at the time, but it was slow month so we sued the Riverwalk for reckless endangerment, so it was a win-lose for everyone.”
Riverboats: More than a Tour
FlowerBoat™: Coming Soon
The Riverboats have also been quick to meet visitors’ needs in order to pry their wallets from their stubby fingers. Everyone loves the Riverboat tour, and guests literally foam at the mouth at the opportunity of eating mediocre food at high prices as long as its on a boat.
Starting in December, one boat will be converted into a full-time flower show, parading an exquisite range of colorful bouquets for all around the river. In Summer, beehives will be added to delight visitors with the world’s first floating apiary. Completing one circuit every hour, the captain-slash-bee-driver will be sprayed in industrial strength DDT to placate swarms of furious insects who confuse his dedication to visitor entertainment with non-stop theft of their colony.
MovieBoat™: Hollywood Classics for Free
A riverboat has been specially fitted with a 25-foot two-sided screen and two projectors, enabling a different movie to be played on each side. With family favorites in the morning, Police Academy sequels in the afternoon and hardcore horror classics in the evening, guests get to view up to 3 minutes of footage from their restaurant table or the whole film if they run alongside. Audio is available on 94.3FM which is broadcast directly from the Riverwalk.
San Antonio Film Festival director Mike Droughon said he’d fantasized about this since he was a teenager. He said his first fantasy with Bay Watch star Erika Eleniak didn’t pan out, but this was something the city agreed needed to be done. After a successful trial, select episodes of BayWatch starring alcoholic David Hasselhoff will be shown.
RollerBoat™: The Most Fun You Can Have on Water
City counselor Jessica Lane said she “crapped” herself when the idea was first presented, but has since warmed to the idea. Las Vegas’ integrating of rollercoaster and hotels was attempted in San Antonio in 1995, when a proposal suggested wrapping a steel rollercoaster around the Grand Hyatt and Marriott Rivercenter. Although this ultimately was not approved, RollerBoat is the next best thing, bringing even more thrills to the world’s most thrilling tourist attraction.
Although scale errors in the initial construction mean that only very tiny children, kittens and small rodents can fit into the seats, RollerBoat driver Kevin “K” Hansell says tourists are delighted to see the $18mm design.
Want to put something on a Riverboat? Public executions, museums or the Statue of Liberty? Whatever your idea send it to makeitfloat@visittheriverwalk.com and make your alarming dreams a reality!
