Visit The Riverwalk

Riverwalk Itinerary

Ask any Texan about the world famous Riverwalk, and they’ll be happy to tell you a little San Antonio history, especially if they are from San Antonio. History is a major subject in our schools, where students are Twittered facts about the Alamo almost daily. A detailed discussion of Riverwalk activities can take hours, so to save you time talking to a Texan, here are our suggested 1 and 3 day itineraries.

1-day itinerary

• 7 AM – Order breakfast in your hotel room, and after a sumptuous meal stroll leisurely down to the north end control gate, just under the St Mary’s bridge. There is adequate seating for 4 people on a bench under the bridge, where you can wait for others to join you on this tour.
• 10 AM – head east, where your first stop is just 50 feet away. Here you will find the Iron Cactus Agave Room, where happy hour is from 2pm to 10pm, connected to the now-closed Aztec Theater. The theater was a silent movie cinema, then became a porn house briefly in the 70s, before becoming a large-screen Imax-type theater in 2006 and then closing in 2007.
• 10.10 AM – mozy on by the Iron Cactus restaurant, which has been rated 1.5 stars by Yelp members and 5 stars by Citysearch. Next to this Austin-based Mexican restaurant is Pesca – don’t let the name fool you, since there are no fish in the Riverwalk, but Pesca serves a wide-variety of foods offering both indoor and outdoor seating.
• 10.15 AM – Waxy O’Connors provides an excellent location for a quick Guinness. Just like a real Irish pub, smoking is not allowed, but children roam freely and noisily at weekends and they serve a menu of authentic Irish food and sports TV.
• 2 PM – walk off your lunch by heading towards Rita’s, and then take one of the many Riverwalk bridges across to the North side, where there are excellent picture-taking opportunities.
• 2.05 PM: after some picture-taking, head to County Line BBQ, for some authentic San Antonio Babyback Ribs and a bucket of Dos Equis.
• 4 PM: head back to Waxy’s for an afternoon game of Irish Golf or authentic bagpipe playing, sponsored by Jameson’s Whiskey. Smooth, charcoal-free Jameson’s is a perfect aperitif for an evening of Riverwalking. If you have women in your group, this is a great time for them to go to Rivercenter Mall – taxis are available and can be ordered at the bar.
• 8PM: now is a great time to think about heading to Howl at the Moon for some live music and beer, served by Jello-Shot laden college girls. This can take at least 20 minutes to walk to, so “getting another round in”, as they say in Ireland, is a great way to start.
• 10PM: head back to the Agave Room to slam back some Happy Hour Tequilas. For our gay and lesbian visitors, we recommend going upstairs to Soho, which serves wine and other gay-friendly drinks such as cosmopolitans.
• 11:30PM: time to call the women and tell them you’ll be home soon! Take a quick trek back to Waxy’s to partake in some authentic Irish music and Guinness. We recommend a carbomb – Baileys and Guinness – to really get you on the road to recovery, after a long day’s Riverwalking.
• 2AM: head back to your hotel which will be hopefully somewhere near there, and raid the mini bar. You can refill those little bottles with water (for vodka) and diluted cold tea (for whiskey), proving there is such as thing as a free liquid lunch.

3-day itinerary

• Day 1: the Five-and-Dime store next to McDonalds near the world-famous Alamo sells pictures of the Alamo, so rain or shine you can say you’ve visited the Alamo. Head to Hard Rock Cafe in the morning, Pat O’Briens in the afternoon and Dick’s Last Resort for some insult-laden service. Enjoy some food at Subway at lunchtime, and a photograph from a Riverboat – drivers most enjoy being heckled between 4PM and 6PM. Putting the cock into cocktail, Swig is happy to help you round out your day downtown.
• Day 2: a solid morning of fast ale-drinking can be had at Mad Dog’s English Pub, which you can wash-down with water-thin margaritas at Jim Cullum’s Jazz Landing. Here is a perfect place to shout at Riverboats touring by, or offering to take pictures and then ‘accidentally’ dropping the camera in the water – tourists just love that. If you like your music second-rate – and who doesn’t? – Durty Nelly’s will be happy to olige. Note the sawdust on the floor that proves its authenticity, and walks upstairs to the hotel to crash for the night. Tip: claiming your last name is Lopez and that you’ve forgotten your key will usually get you a free room.
• Day 3: after two strenuous days, why not relax by combining the best parts of days one and two? If you can’t decide, let us do it for you – Waxy’s, Mad Dog’s, Dick’s, which will take you on a service roller-coaster like none you’ve ever seen. Don’t forget to collect credit cards from establishments from the night before.

Whether you have just one day or five, there’s so much to do on the world famous San Antonio Riverwalk.