Riverwalk Survey: 87% of Visitors Agree
The world-famous San Antonio Riverwalk, with its world-class collection of local beads and tire-making facilities, has run a survey for the past year, in conjunction with the Federal Census Bureau. In the largest survey of its kind, which involved nearly 159,000 guests, visitors and conveners to the beloved river, the results are finally in, confirming what many locals knew all along: “Yes, it is.” Local writer Brandan Moss reports.
I first heard the news when leaving the Texan Institute of Cultures, and immediately felt a sense of relief. I suppose any local knew the answer and didn’t really need a survey, but there had been a long questioning in recent years that felt as if something needed to be proved. And then there was some sort of self-doubt, as if everyone may arrive to a conclusion different to the one I had believed in for most my life.
I started spreading the news initially by email, and then Twitter and Facebook, just because I got so many phone calls back. And the pattern was already the same: “That’s amazing!”, said one. “We’re finally recognized,” say another. Despite all the viral videos on YouTube and work that local artists had contributed to establish ourselves, it really did take a single paper survey, counted in the old-fashioned sense, to deliver the verdict that we all knew in our hearts must be true.
It’s encouraging to see the city’s school are rallying around the result too. Riverwalk High is planning a one-day street festival, centered around the message of hope that “Yes, it is” brings us as a community. Even the Riverwalk Baptist Church, who have been long-term opponents of what a ‘no’ vote must imply, have pledged their full support. Father Mint Garga provided a sermon dedicated to the survey, adding that “Jesus would also vote 5/5″ – an encouraging sign for a Riverwalk that has be battered by the effects of recession.
And the economy has been trying for folk. The downturn has seen riverboat drivers transformed into Rock Hard Cafe servers, and even local “Ask an Amigo” members trade their help badges for 210 Gang colors. Father Garga’s words strive to unite a divided river, one literally cut between north and south by an inconvenient waterway, and heal the wounds that have been licked but remain infected. To imagine this would all be possible from a single survey bespeaks to the power of democracy, the individual and single unassailed truth that is the legend of River Redemption.
Despite the overwhelming result, most visitors were confused about failing to win their new Apple iPads, fueling the inevitable cynicism. In a world where emails promise penis enlargements and cheap Viagra, yet paying up rarely results in staying up, even the same messages from family often threaten supernatural ruin unless forwarded to 10 friends immediately, most of us are pondering if we even have 10 friends, let alone those who need Riverwalk Life Insurance. While Riverwalk Life Insurance has received a resounding ‘yes’, as proven from today’s result, and has become a cornerstone of a town so reliant upon the human desire to convene, it should be noted that this email should also be forwarded to at least 10 friends, lest ye receive the infamous Wart O’ Riverwalk syndrome.
Brandan Moss regularly dines with a well-known SA Express food critic and also knows where everyone lives. RLI can be purchased directly from Brandan. We actually should have collected his press credentials before hiring him but we’re now too scared to do anything about it. There’s a Happy Hour somewhere around the Hotel Contessa we should try if you want to talk about it discreetly.
